hope everyone is having a great Labor Day and to my Malaysian friends, Selamat Hari Merdeka (National Day). These types of holidays are good to relax and have good times with friends and to some of us, reflect on what has transpired over the previous season and make plans for the next one.

This past summer I had a lot of changes in my life. I moved to Las Vegas from Florida and had to start my life over. I have done this type of thing many times before, but the older I get the more uncomfortable it is to do that. Some of you who know me well are probably saying to yourselves, "Finally..." because I have a tendency of moving around quite frequently. My excuse is that there is no one to hold me back. I suppose that is true. I'm like a helium balloon: Cut the string and I fly away.... Then I wake up, scared, like a child, lost in a market place. Such is my life.

But I have met some very nice people since I moved here, and it has been a pleasure to make their acquaintance. I've been crushed also, but I believe that is probably my own emotional irresponsibility. I have a difficult time separating my emotions from my life. I envy people who can just go through life on an even keel. I'm not admitting to OCD or Manic Depression, but my life follows the waves of emotion and my consciousness is ultimately dragged along for the ride. But that is my life and that is my passion and that is what makes me "ME," so I don't have a problem with who I am, although I know I must make others uncomfortable at times. I apologize for that.

I have made a commitment to myself to examine who I am and to accept who I am and to live my life in an authentic way unto myself. I have no fear of being exactly who I am and I have no desire to mask or hide who I am. This is because I have accepted myself for who I am and because I actually enjoy being me. I have a big problem when people try to categorize that I am based on a stereotype or a character or a fantasy. The reason why is because ultimately I am not that person so they are either disappointed because I don't fit into their fantasy or they are overwhelmed because they think I'm so simple and when they find out that I am complex, it shatters the fantasy. This is why, when I meet people I like to talk to them first to see where they are and find a comfort zone to disclose who I am to them. I know, it sounds like I'm patronizing, and maybe I am [...That's Deborah! ~ From the motion picture, Jeffrey].

I've been trying to be good, though. I haven't responded to folks who avow their allegiance to the republican political establishment. I'm not a fan of the democratic party either, mind you, but at least we get some benefit from the democrats. Acceptance on some scale, I suppose. I'm searching for crumbs in a wasteland, ultimately. So I have learned to bite my tongue, put my fingers in my ears and sing, "La! La! La! La! La! La! La!" I avoid watching the news on television at all cost but somewhere; somehow the "news" gets through. Either at a place where you have no control over it, like at a waiting lounge somewhere. I still want to scream. I still want to pull the plug. I still want to yell at the television, "You are full of SHIT!!" But I have learned to control myself. I know that I am not in a controlled environment. I have learned that most people don't really care what's going on in the world and, this seemingly endless loop of propaganda is playing to the ignorant.

I was commenting on this just yesterday with someone who I admire very much. This person had blogged about a recent al-Quaeda video, which was released, and the intention was to stir religious tension, in an atmosphere of politics. Religion and politics: Maybe good for other countries, but BAD for the USA. Our government is too corrupt to fall in line under one religion anyway. It was not founded on that principle and was not set up otherwise, if you care to look at the documents and understand the real purpose of such a setup, it makes a lot of sense. My response was to those who would try to argue for a war of religion / ideology out of what is clearly just a group of imperialist pigs feeding in the trough of oil money. An argument of their own design. A conflict of their creation. However we pay the price for their immoral greed with our incomes and the lives of our beloved. So here is my response:

"Be that as it may, I have to respond that this type of religiosity is simply being used to stir up the folks who would be engaged in such a war. What kind of person could be programmed to forget his or her own humanity and destroy another life for the sake of his or her own beliefs? Someone who is without a soul. It is morally unconscionable for anyone to consider such actions. The real treason is the digression of our nation from moving forward. Thus we move into ignorance, which is endorsed and promoted by all of the political parties in our country. It has many times made me ashamed to be living in this land. Especially when I hear condoleezza rice speak about our foreign policy. Let us not forget for one instant that ghw bush used al-Qaeda to fight the "Soviets" in Afghanistan back in the '80's and that these folks have been in bed together for many decades. We support the Wahabis in Saudi Arabia not for their religious extremism, but because they have maintained the Saudi families power structure. And since the bush's are so into Texas tea, they say one thing and naturally do quite another. It is why the future reagan administration secretly negotiated with the Iranian's to hold the embassy hostages until after the inauguration of our first president with Alzheimers disease. This is the reason for Iran-Contra as well. They're all "good buddies" [to borrow from our trucker friends lingo], and they use each other to promote their own political agendas. I guess that would make them political fuck-buddies. Religious scholars know this, and it is unfortunate that there is no mainstream media outlet even remotely interested in debunking the political propaganda. Some folks are thirsty for power, some are greedy, and to a larger extent, [our, sic.] community have been guilty of sloth for not speaking out more vehemently against the propaganda and the slaughter on all sides. Gore Vidal was so correct when he called our land, 'The United States of Amnesia.'
Note: De-capitalization of names is intentional to show disrespect."

So where do I go from here? It is so hard to say. My intention is to simply try to live my life with a minimal amount of involvement in the political machine as possible. I also believe that one day many people will wake up and wonder why they are playing the game when the end result is their own destruction. But I also feel that it would be impossible to ignore the constant designed ignorance, which is supported, by our global media and all of our political parties.